Hmmm, well folks I may have to call this quits for a while. Really all it does anymore is depress me, it represents that faint, clinging hope that I can possess a constant understanding of what's happening in the world, which is the way wrong way to handle it. Listen, I'm lonely, depressed, scared as hell, stressed out, and irritated. In short, this isn't helping the way it was supposed to, and when a tool doesn't work, stop using it. You all know how to get in touch with me if you need to, and that's recently been the only time I've come into contact with anyone. I could quite easily kid myself and say I'm going to go out and meet some people, have a good time, and all will be well, but we all know how much crap that is since I seem to lack the cojones to actually follow through with it. Right now only two people talk to me on a semi-regular basis, and I don't like that. I understand that everything is within my power to fix and take control. So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to make this my final post, I'm going to take a deep breath, and I'm going to either put my fist through the wall in frustration or relax and try harder.

Arrivaderci

Maybe I should update hehe.

Well, we're packing for Elma. This job is starting to take its toll on my body, and I'm going to need to find a job with better pay soon, but I'll stick with this until something comes along. My nanna definitely has lung cancer, so they're looking at their options and running tests. We should know if she's a candidate for surgery some time this week, or if their only option is chemo. If it's just chemo, my nanna may say fuck it and let the cancer run its course.

I hate moving, all this packing is a nightmare.

OK, OK people, stop bugging me about it. So I want to date her. Is that a big deal? Oi! Ya'll need some better gossip (you know who you are). Even so, distance issues need to be worked out, and we need to talk it out in person. That gets complicated. I won't say what has been said, but I do have an interest. Neither one of us has had an exemplary success at relationships, and frankly I'm a little lost as to how to approach this. Eh well. We'll figure it out. I haven't even asked her out yet, I've just brought up the concept a couple of times.

Wait, why am I telling all ya'll this? Oh bugger. Y'know, this is why I didn't like making that damn promise to not erase any of what I typed. I'll get you for that, Aimee >.< Bugger future sister-in-laws always tricking me into making promises.........

BTW, the writing under her picture says "I know she's going to kill me for this, but --- ISN'T SHE CUUUUTE?!??!"

I didn't realise you couldn't read it when it's so small until after I put it up. Toodles.

So, I have some updates. The big one is that my nanna might have lung cancer. Scratch might, her docs said more than likely, as in they don't know what else it could be. My nanna is 79 years old, so it's not likely that she's going to try chemo. So, the way this will work out if she does have cancer is my mom will quit her job and stay in Spokane with my nanna for a while. My dad will sell the Everett house, and he and I will move down to Elma. We'll stay in the main house until we have the apartment built, then we'll move in there and work on the house after work and on weekends. Now, since my dad and I are going to be living there, chances are the internet will go up pretty damn fast, so I shouldn't be offline for more than a month. I'm not sure when I'll be on when that happens, though. Basically my dad and I are going to take the two hour commute to work in the morning, commute back, do some minor house repairs, then sleep. On weekends we do the major stuff.

Well, in any case, I just wanted to let everyone know what was going on. Toodles.